“ROARING FIRES AND ACHING BONES AND ASHES LONG SINCE GONE”
By NEEBEESHAABOOKWAY
---CHAPTER ONE---
---BOY AND MAN/SOFA AND ROCKER---
Andy was sure that no-one in the whole world knew how awful all this was for him, and he was determined that no story in the world, no matter who told it could or would ever change his mind as to how he was feeling. Well, maybe he thought, just maybe I should listen to Jess, though. He sure has had a lot more interesting things to say and stories to tell…why, such as the likes-of things I’ve never heard before. But, well, heck’if I sure don’t feel like hearing any stories now and Jess sure don’t look like he’s fit to hold on to the moment at hand much longer.
Andy took a harder look at Jess to make sure he was even still awake…he was half drugged from an earlier visit by the Doc, and seemed to be loosing touch with reality fast. His previously persistent desire to tell Andy that if anyone knew how he felt, it was Jess himself, seemed to have faded a bit into a relaxed offer instead.
Andy was still thinking on Jess’ words as he watched him leaning back in the rocking chair, as he himself tried to get comfortable on the sofa near the front window. His broken leg was really bothering him, but worse yet, were his new set of aches and pains. He was aching all the way up his side from bruises and cracked ribs and some minor burns on his arms. The medicine was nearly wore off now, and this new and very interesting Miss Daisy would be in soon and see that he got some more for the night. It was wonderful being back home at the ranch with his brother Slim, and even more wonderful that Jess was still here. See, Andy said to himself, I just knew Jess belonged here, I just knew it. A pard is a pard forever.
Thinking back on Jess, he could still hear Jess’ “rambled” words going through his head:
‘But, well… now if you ain’t in the mood for what I have to say, well then I ain’t about to bare my soul. Anyways…I ain’t the soul baring kind…but then well…sometimes baring one’s soul is just the kind of medicine you young bucks need to keep you from tripping under your antlers. You ain’t the only one that had to buck up from under a rack of hard troubles you know…hey...is it morning yet?…seems like I been sitting here forever…my hands and arms finally ain’t aching so bad now…sure is good to see that fire roaring in the fireplace where it belongs, as I ain’t about to battle another one.’
Jess stretched out his legs, and looked up at Andy watching him. He had to admit the roaring fire sure did feel good, even if his hands were burning so bad before the Doc came. It was getting mighty cold out, and they were in for a cold night. The storm had passed over. But judging from the sky, more was on the way, at least everything was good and wet now and there wouldn’t be much that could burn. Slim and Daisy and Mike were out busy cleaning up while Jess and Andy were in busy resting up.
“How long you been watching me, Andy? … Did I doze off, or something? Seems there was another point in time way back, when I was dozing and nearly shot up a pie, remember? Dad-gum, sure is just great to see you after all this time…letter writing helps a lot, keeping friendships warm, but there’s nothing like the real thing to make a heart glad for it inside.” Jess sat up a bit more. He tried stretching out his shoulders and arms with deliberate care, shook his head a bit, and continued. “You sure growed up fine Andy, broken leg and all. Now, where’s that smile you always had for me and Slim?”
This is it now, thought Andy, he’s awake, and talking. “Okay, Jess, you win…tell me your story, how could your broken leg have been so much worse than mine. Why I sat there all day until someone found me. I thought I’d be there all night, too.”
“How’d you know about that?” Jess looked a bit perplexed. “How’d you know about my broken leg?”
“Why you been sitting there for about half and hour telling me you were a bit shocked that a boy my age still needed some lesson learning, and you were fixing to teach me one. You said your broken leg story would put mine to shame.” Andy couldn’t help smiling as he thought on this and watched Jess, as he did he also remembered farther back, all their special past talks came together again in his mind.
“Well, hey now, there’s that smile, thought you about lost it in the big city some wheres.” Jess lay back in the chair, it appeared he was slowly going back into the fog that he had nearly stretched and pulled himself out of. “Well, Andy, seems I was traveling through Kansas at one point in time…”
Andy heard this and perked up, ignoring the aches and pains. “Yes, Jess…go on…I sure do need lesson learning Jess, I surely do. If your fixing to tell me Jess, why, I’m fixing to listen, see?”
With that, Jess began his relating to Andy, becoming a bit lost in it himself as if relating a dream:
---CHAPTER TWO---
---FOUR DAYS ON THE PRAIRIE---
“Well Andy, AS I SAID, seems I was traveling through Kansas at one point in time…and I hit the prairie… it was just after sunrise. Most beautiful sight for miles on end. Sure wouldn’t want to be stuck out there alone without food or water though. Or worse yet, in some kind of a fix... Well, Andy, that’s just what happened.”
“My horse shied at a rattler, before I knew it I was down with my face in the dirt, laying on my right leg with the other one a bit out to the side. Danged if it was hurting mighty bad too. But at the time my main concern was just where that rattler was a laying. I was gritting my teeth and laying as still as I could, but after a bit I think I must have passed out, as the pain was racking me up through and through. Just don’t quite recollect it all too clear though. I do recollect I was still hurtin’ mighty bad when I woke up, sun was moving on just past noon then. I tried to turn over and that’s when I realized my leg was broke. I got myself turned over all right but the lower part of my leg I was laying on was bent and useless. It sure looked bad to see it bent so odd, just a ways under my knee, near the top of my boot.”
“Well, Jess… what’d you do then?” Andy was thinking back on his own episode down by the creek when he was helping a friend from school. The boy couldn’t see well, and was too near the edge. Andy ran up and pulled him back but fell over the ridge in the process. There were three of them off fishing for a holiday. The two boys went back for help, but it would take them all day, as Andy knew quite well. All he could do was lay there at the bottom of the ridge with his leg broke and his mind racing. ‘What if they can’t find their way back, what if I’m lost here for days until someone can find me.’ He had been hurting so bad and sure wished he had a good buddy by his side, but all he could do then was settle back down and listen to the small steady trickle of the near by stream, as his tears made a small trickle of his own.
“Well Andy…once I got my bearings a bit, and looked around, I realized I was likely to be meeting up with some buzzards in the near future, if my luck didn’t change. As I felt around my leg I could tell it was swelled around the top of my boot now, I was sure it’d be getting a lot worse if I moved it. I finally decided to take a try at it though. And it obliged me in a hollering-out-type of agony as I tried to get up some how and drag myself to my horse. Didn’t work Andy, I just couldn’t get up in any way, passed out again just trying. Well, judging by your new experience, you sure know about being stuck in the dirt, too now, don’t ya’.” Jess said as he smiled a bit.
“Yes, but Jess, I didn’t even try to get up, as I had no horse to go for, no point in making it worse on myself. I knew that. What must have gone through your mind Jess…why being alone on the prairie like that…why, I bet you thought you truly were going to die.”
“Andy as I lay there in the dirt and grasses of that prairie, first off I thought of the Panhandle, and how I sure missed it…that’s Texas country Andy, where I was from, you know that. I used to sit out in the prairie grasslands, though a bit different in some respects, with my ma and sis on occasion. We were all just about near the same ages, except for my one older brother Johnny. My pa tried to keep him and my little brothers busy as they were mostly up to no good.
Well the memories felt so comfortable and familiar to me, that my mind was trying to escape my agony and I wanted to be lost with those memories. As I kept blacking out from pain and all, I almost felt I had gone back in time. Then each time I woke up, reality set in. I was still stuck laying there alone … just me and my broken leg… and my horse, and he was just as happy as you please. It was kinda’ hard for me to fight staying awake, and I rightly didn’t know if I should. Kept figuring I needed to rest up for the next day, and after all my futile tries at getting up, all I did was make it worse on myself. I had no strength left in me and was getting the shakes… as I remember…seemed like the hours would never end…then I finally saw the sun set Andy. I was near numb inside by then, but oddly it was one of the most beautiful sunsets I had ever seen.”
Jess was really feeling the medication again now, and couldn’t quite go on. He got up and walked a bit weakly over to the fire. He looked at his hands, and then at the fire, its roar had burned down a bit. He kneeled down and then turned to sit on the floor and proceeded to lay down. Odd how you can run through a roaring fire, and then find yourself hours later, sitting next to one like its your best friend, Jess thought.
“Well, aren’t you going to finish telling me what happened Jess?”
“Huh? … Oh, yeah…” Jess said softly, as he drifted … “Yeah. I seem to remember the hot sun hitting me in the face, and it woke me up. I was feverish, I could tell by the chills I was having. I was thirsting, Andy, really thirsting for water really bad. I could hear my horse about. Looked around as best I could and saw him off to the side… sure wished to heck he would take off to somewheres…anywheres. You never know, it just might be he’d run into some other drifter crazy enough to short cut through the same prairie that I chose to make fresh tracks in. Then, if I was lucky enough that some horse thief didn’t find him, well then I’d be all set, as just maybe somebody would come looking for the owner. I still had my coat on, as it was… seems that I never noticed the need the day before to take it off, but the sun was baking down on me even more so now. Took me quite a struggle to get it off…tried to sit up a bit as best I could and put it under my leg to prop it up a bit…thought it might help, even though it was a bit late. Took off my outer shirt too, as I needed some kind of shelter, sure wasn’t about to try moving about again for my hat.
Don’t know how many hours it was, but I saw a flock of birds fly by and land a bit off to the side. I could just make out some of them through the grass, I kept wondering what they were eating as they grazed there … as best a flock of birds can graze.” Jess lowered his eyes a bit, nearly shutting them as he almost could see them now and then lifted his eyes again with a bit of a wrinkle to his brow. So clear in fact, was the memory, that it hung on a bit in his mind. He watched the fire dance for just a few seconds and then continued. “Then they moved on … leaving me behind, naturally. Kept drifting in and out of it… heard a few bugs buzzing around. Just laying there I began to feel like some kind of a old tree stump, watching the world go by, while I was getting ready to rot.
Seemed like I woke up or something…maybe I was sleeping…maybe not…but I heard a few bird singing in the fields kind of pretty like. Didn’t see them though this time, just heard them … must have been much later, as it was getting cooler now, a few wispy clouds were rolling by, along with others really high up and moving into all kinds of shapes at a fast pace. A great sight to lay eyes on… seems I lost myself into some dark clouds passing through my brain though, as I slipped into darkness …don’t know how long it was, but I woke up and the darkness that greeted me was night. Just couldn’t bring myself to try and make a fight of getting my coat back, sat there a shivered a mite ‘til I guess I fell asleep again.
Sun was hitting me in the face once again, seemed I was its favorite target…tried shaking my head clear, was sure it was a new day, and judging by the sun it was nearly noon. My face was burning; I fixed up my shirt again with one arm over my face and my shirt draped over that to shield it the best I could. Lay that way for hours on end, but I needed some fresh air so I kept pushing it aside without thinking… had to fight those floating thoughts as to protect myself, over and over again. This day though, turned out there was a slight breeze, but didn’t help my thirst or agony any, as the heat was still bearing down on me. It seemed the bit of a breeze was just there to tease me and keep me awake and in pain. This was how I started my third day, Andy.
I figured by now I’d soon be hearing a new song, from some different birds, some bird I’d be none to pleased to meet. Horse was gone now…well, just maybe some prayers from my early life were about to take effect, or so I was thinking. Wandering horse, plus buzzards means a riders down somewheres, code of the west Andy… just plain duty bound, a man is, to check out buzzards… and to find out just where that rider is. Well, that is IF A MAN IS HONORABLE … honorable… or…maybe the curious type…or maybe just likes nosing into anyone’s business that comes along his way. Yeah, …thinking it’s a good way to make a man owe you something later…just in case…as a good bank account to the future…aww, who knows, maybe that wasn’t it … but he sure pulled my reins later with them words.”
“Reins? … Well …what do you mean by that?”
Jess’ mind began spacing out as he wondered about those last few thoughts…if that man hadn’t showed up …my bones would still be there … scattered on the Kansas prairie….prairie?…wooden floor, on the prairie???…
Andy was watching Jess as he was trying to get comfortable on the hard floor, and tossed him one of his blankets. “Jess?”
“Don’t know what happened to the rest of the day, never saw the sunset… it’s night now…been three days…heard some buzzards a bit…they’ll be back tomorrow. My leg is killing me…feels like a ton of dead weight…can’t move my whole body now, nor lift my head…can’t go another day without water…seems like I been laying here forever now, but these here sounds of the night will be over before I know it. May not even make it ‘til high noon tomorrow … this prairie dirt is fixing to make me part of it now … Harper flesh and prairie dirt … seems fittin’.”
“Jess are you feeling alright? You sound a bit lost Jess…Jess?” Andy soon realized Jess was lost in his story. He knew the Doc’s drugs were taking effect to its full strength now, and during the most crucial part of the story. Just when he knew someone would be finding Jess. But who:
The heat was intense. In his agony the day before, just near sunset, Jess had knocked his shirt aside and this time never knew. What little shelter it had given him was gone today. Jess couldn’t even think anymore…he tilted his head a bit to avoid the glare of the sun. He pushed his hands into the dirt and rubbed them back and forth aching in misery and the despair of being unable to help himself, he was quickly becoming more and more unfocused.
He saw the grass up real close now for the first time, he could see a few tiny bugs making their way up the grass…sure seemed odd…like he was spying on their travels. He wondered where they were going. Francie never liked bugs much…he was startled a bit by something that blurred past his face…it was a grasshopper. It looked bright and clear in the sunlight. I liked grasshoppers, he remembered, used to hold them on my finger for Francie to see. She never got too close, and I never betrayed her trust and threw them at her, not like Johnny did. He tried to reach for it but couldn’t move. It seemed to get dark a bit, Jess couldn’t tell if it was his mind or the sky…then, with a bit of a rumble … although far off…he knew the weather was changing a bit. Maybe I best be getting on home now, Jess thought…sure don’t know where everyone is though…don’t usually come out here alone. He figured he’d leave the grasshopper until next time.
The sound of the buzzards brought him around a slight bit, there were quite a few now and some where beginning to get bolder and closer…some critter’s dying and I’m near in the midst of it …wonder what it is … where’s my horse…can’t travel without my horse… He had a vague wonder cross his mind as to if his horse was dead, util he began to realize it was himself laying here that they were after.
My leg … can’t move…heaviness… all over… As the deep blackness pulled at his mind and drew him under…Jess heard loud noises, it should mean something to him, he knew that sound, but nothing came to mind. What ever it was it seemed like it would never end, he fought hard to rouse himself, as to try and understand.
Gunfire … is it guns? … Why, I shot a gun before…Jess couldn’t tell if it was gunshots or thundering. The squawking of the buzzards had stopped. Seemed like someone was pulling on his leg and he let out a sharp faint gasp. His lost agony had suddenly returned with an onslaught that wracked through his body and being unable to face it he passed out.
He came to a bit later as he felt rain hitting on his face. It wasn’t rain though, it was a cool rag and dripping water…someone was trying to give him water. He heard horses. Again Jess tried vainly to rouse himself, he slipped back into unconsciousness, with his last words weakly questioning his unknown rescuer.
“You gonna give me a lift, mister, or do I gotta walk? I sure ain’t been making good time as it is…seems like I been just laying here for the longest time…just what the heck are you doing in these parts anyways mister?”
“Far as I can tell, I live here, Jess…and I’m trying to get you up off the floor, that’s what I’m doing here…and it sure ain’t easy!”…Slim snapped at him. And I can only give you a lift so far, so I think once your up, your gonna have to hang on my shoulder a bit. So if you could do a bit of walking, why that’d suit me just fine too. Do you hear me Jess?”
Jess just stared up at Slim and studied him for a bit, then at the fire. “Slim? …walking? Why, I can’t walk with a busted up leg, don’t you know that Slim? …where am I? …How long have I been laying here…sure seems like forever…seems like…”
Jess rolled over towards the fire and curled up half way, oblivious to his bandaged hands and lay in a heap on the floor with Andy’s blanket.
“Jess! Wake up!” Slim gave up.
“Wow, you sure handled that good, Slim.” Mike said with grin.
Slim turned and just looked at him for moment completely puzzled. “Mike, what are you talking about?”
“Well, you got him to go to sleep a lot easier than you get me too.”
Slim just shook his head as he went on with his wondering as to how to set things right for the night. He was painfully aware that he was over tired, hungry and wanted to sleep himself.
“He’s out Daisy…Slim said. Should we just leave him here for the night, or shall we drag him off to bed?”
“I don’t know about you Slim, but I don’t think I’ll be of much help, I’m too tired to move much myself … except maybe just enough to warm us something to eat, but that’s about it. The Doctor did say he should have his hands elevated though, we could just try to roll him over and prop up his hands with some pillows. I really do think we should do that Slim. He’s going to be in pain as it is when he wakes up. But I think he’s alright for now, as the Doc said he should sleep through the night with the medication he gave him.”
“All right then, that’s just what we’ll do.” Slim agreed. “Mike, give me a hand here, then after you eat, its your turn to get off to bed.”
Slim turned to Andy, “Now, how is it that Jess came to be warming the floor, and asking me for a lift…and just where did he expect to be traveling to this time of evening, and from our front room? … And I thought you were the one with the broken leg.”
“Why I expect he’d be leaving Kansas behind sometime soon, Slim, as he’s been on the prairie for just about four days now. Sure can’t wait to find out who found, him…well, other than you Slim,” Andy joked back.
“Bet I know just what you’re thinking too Slim,” Andy added, “I better get some sleep now too, right Slim?”
Daisy brought the medicine to ease Andy’s pain that would return in the night if they didn’t plan ahead, and Slim, along with Mike joined Daisy for a quick evening meal and some serious talk. Then they all settled in for the night, as the cold front blew in with more storms for the night. Slim in his room, with Mike in Jess’ bed…and Daisy in her room with the door open to listen for Andy and Jess.
And Jess … well, he spent the rest of the night crossing the Kansas prairie in the back of Roney Bishop’s water wagon. Reliving his vague memories of a painful, yet thankful bouncing around in that wagon, listening to far off thunder of rain that never came, and later more vague memories of people hauling him out of the wagon and to the local Doc’s. Leaving far behind and far off, his hat …to wither and rot… and die alone on the prairie…instead of himself.