“ROARING FIRES AND ACHING BONES AND ASHES LONG SINCE GONE”
---CHAPTER THREE---
---THE AFTERMATH---
It was another cold morning. Slim saw the stage off, with Mike’s help. For the most part though, it looked like the rain and thunderstorms were gone for the Sherman Ranch. Actually, the storm that did hit that other day wasn’t even rain at first, it was more of a severe lightening storm, followed by the rains that did come…thank God for that, Slim thought, or the whole barn might have burnt up, and Andy with it.
The weather had been dry, almost bone dry for so long. Slim thought back for just a moment on how the cold front came in. They were expecting some long awaited-for rains then. What they got was a bad electrical storm instead. From what Mose said, there were lots of ranchers that had fires break out in their dry pastures from trees getting hit, and someone else more near town had lost their whole barn from a lightening hit.
“Well, hopefully we’ll get rain with the next bunch of clouds that will be rolling in soon,” Slim said to Mike. “From the looks of things around here, seems like we did a pretty good job of cleaning up yesterday, Mike. Then with Daisy sorting it all into piles, we should be finished with this mess by tonight, and hopefully I can start some repair work on the barn…think the majority of the work will have to wait until Jess’ hands heal up. If he thinks I’m doing all this work myself, well … well … you know Mike, looks like that’s the way its going to be. Anyways, if I know Jess, he’ll be coming to my aid sooner than he should be. The barn is just as important to him as it is to me, this sure isn’t like feeding the chickens, or chopping up firewood. Those are the kind of chores he’d just as soon do without.”
Slim walked up to Mike and put his arm around him, and they went to sit on the porch. Daisy came out when she heard them. She left the door open enough so as to listen for Andy or Jess.
“Are they still asleep, Daisy” Slim asked.
“Andy is, but he was up late, Jess is stirring a bit. The medicine I gave Andy was late in coming, and Jess’ from the Doc was pretty strong, so it’s to be expected that he’s still sleeping…maybe another hour.” Daisy brushed some flour off of her dress, as she had been making bread.
She looked off into the cloudy skies, and pulled her wrap closer around her shoulders and then thoughtfully said, “Why Slim, I hardly got to know Andy, or even enjoy him yet, we sure had a hard beginning haven’t we.” She then noticed dusty white flour marks on her wrap, and proceeded to dust this off now too.
Slim couldn’t help but notice her unconscious grooming ritual. “Are you making bread Daisy?” Slim questioned her, “That sure is a big chore for you, are you sure you’re up to it after all that work yesterday?”
“Oh, I just thought it would make the home smell nice for Andy, make him feel back at home here.”
“Why I’d sure like some of that bread too, Daisy, sure do me good to feel right at home too, now wouldn’t it?” It was Jess, leaning on the inside doorframe, looking out at them. “Seems I been lost in the Doc’s medicine most of the night, out roaming somewhere in dreamland I suppose, and I sure am hungry now, he said with a smile. Then he added with a bit of a frowned annoyance “haven’t figured out just yet how to eat anything with these hands of mine, but sure as heck I ain’t letting nobody feed me.” Jess frowned a bit, as he leaned back on the outside wall with a deep sigh. The pain was bad enough to deal with, but being trapped in these bandages was frustrating, and having to keep his hands up made it even more so. He knew that any of his private needs could be taken care of with respect and dignity, but the public funning that would come from not being able to feed himself was sure not a trail he was looking forward to. It seemed rocks would be coming at him from all directions on this here trail…and when he’d least be expecting it. It was going to be “open season” on Jess Harper and Slim was a mighty slick shot, and just waiting around each bend.
“Well, I have work to do inside, just came out for a short visit.” Daisy gave Jess a hug, and went in to tend to her bread, and some food for Jess and Andy.
As Mike wondered off, Slim and Jess walked over to the barn and looked around thinking and deciding the next necessary steps as to its fixing. But all the while there was much more on their minds.
Yesterday, just before noon was when the storm was brewing, there were flashes of lightening being displayed, but no rain as of yet. Slim and Jess had taken off just before the electrical storm hit. They had been expecting rain and were up on the side hills checking fence post. They were hoping to fix any that wouldn’t “keep a foot hold” in the ground from the hopefully soon coming rains. They both knew if they had chosen the other stretch of pasture to check, that the barn as well as Andy’s life might not have been left by the time they arrived.
They had seen the smoke and nearly passed it by as an odd cloud, but a few strong flashes of lightening had left them with a bad gut feeling. With a closer look at that odd cloud and the shared expressions on their faces as to the revelation of what it truly was, they took off riding for home. Jess got there first, with Slim on his heels…the barn was burning and Daisy and Mike were at a loss as what to do.
Daisy had been continually trying to go in, and Jess had stopped her. ‘All the horses are out Daisy, didn’t you know that, every morning they’re out…you could have died going in there’ Jess had told her. It was then that he learned that Andy was in there. He had been up on his crutches, and walking around a bit…gone in there for the first time since he was home. He had only been home half a day, after coming in on the afternoon stage. So this was his actually his first full day, and he wanted to spend it outside not on the sofa. The thundering combination of sound and shock of the lightening had startled him as it hit from out of nowhere, that, as well as his own secret pains … caused him to fall. He could not get up. The dry wood was as tinder, breaking and falling onto the hay, and it was all burning up too fast. Some of the inside poles and beams were already cracking away as they burned. Slim didn’t know about Andy and was running for the water. Jess sent Daisy for buckets and water as he began his own mission. Jess Harper now faced the barn and the fire. In his mind he knew he was going in, but with his body he knew that he was going in only when he felt himself kick open the near closed barn door that always hung crooked. It fell back to its usual near closed spot as he was now in view of the flames and already suffering from the smoke.
It’s a roaring fire all right, Harper…but Jess’ thought was gone as fast as it appeared. He wasn’t thinking now, only reacting. He moved around until he found Andy, he was stuck under a medium sized beam. Jess soon had him free, and was trusting the others would or could wet down the flames enough for them to get out. As they neared the door, Jess could see the open space and water being thrown, by now Daisy had told Slim that Jess was in there with Andy. Jess had Andy near the door, but creaking wood from above sent a flash of fear down his spine, with a hard shove Jess pushed Andy through the door just before more of the roof fell over and around him.
The fire was all around him now, and he pushed and pulled at the burning wood around him trying to ignore the pain…all he knew was he was getting out and nothing was going to stop him. He had been through this before and he was going to fight anyway he could. The outside air brought enough clear air that he didn’t choke, but it fed the fire, and his hands and forearms burned more as he fought his way out with Slim catching him as he fell. His body was now reacting from the burns and smoke as Slim pulled him away from the barn. Daisy was still nearby with Andy and near ready to run in as well, if need be.
They dragged the two survivors to the porch, as Mike was told to keep busy filling buckets. Daisy then ran into the house for clean linens and wetting them down, wet and wrapped Jess’ burnt hands and forearms with the utmost care. Daisy cared for Jess first as he was in much worse shape. She was afraid he would go into shock, but with her care she kept him stable. Andy had to wait his turn, he only had some minor burns as he had been stuck behind the beams that fell, but his ribs were aching so bad he could hardly stand it any longer.
It had been hard on Andy. Seeing Jess in such agony was worse than his own ribs…and worsening every minute, as he felt to blame. He knew he shouldn’t have been trying to get around, he knew, but they didn’t. Andy’s trying to be a man from his own private decision had now forced Jess to owe up to being a man from his public decision. Both were there on the porch that day, facing the aftermath of the pain that had befallen them from these two different decisions and “owing up to it” in ways that only their own minds could fathom the fullness of. Slim had immediately gone back to the fire, it had to be stopped, going for the Doc was not to be until much later.
Slim and Jess stood now in silence, each in their own personal thoughts, yet each was well aware that their thoughts were the same just as if Daisy had hung them out on the line to dry in full view.
“Judging by the aftermath, what do you think Jess?” Slim said as he eyed him. He tried to say it as casually as he could. He said this remark as to the barn, but Jess knew better, he knew what was meant. He knew Slim as the back of his hand, and Slim could read Jess like a book…granted though, a few pages seemed to be in code, at times…but somehow Slim always managed to get through the chapters.
“Well, I’d say we were all in the right place at the right time, or we just might be having a few funerals right about now, Slim,” Jess said as he looked over at his friend. “The way that fire was a roaring, and all of us wanting to be heroes, why Mike would have been the only one left.”
“What makes you think so Jess?” It was Mike, slowly approaching. He heard and was a bit disappointed. “I could be a hero too, Jess, don’t you believe in me?”
Jess bent down, along with Slim, and watched Slim lecture as only Slim can. “Now, didn’t we have a long talk with you a few months ago about fires? If we ever caught you near one again, it’d be a long hard trip traveling back from the wood shed, and not for the fact that you’d be loaded up with fire wood, either,” Slim reminded him.
“Sometimes, Mike”, Jess looked him in the eyes, “…sometimes…the hero is the only one that’s left, Mike, and that’s the hardest kind of hero to be. I do believe in you, I believe you could be that kind of a hero if you had too. And if you’re ever picked to be that kind of a hero… you’ll know, and just remember…there’s a good reason for it.”
Jess’s face was stressed now, and he felt a bit anxious, taking a quick look at Slim, Mike, and again at Slim, Jess got up and left for the house. They could hear his words trailing off after him as he resorted to a good ‘subject changer’, “A man is likely to freeze to death out here with just his undershirt topping off his pants and all ....”
Slim stood up, holding Mike’s hand, and they went into the barn as Slim made a quick inventory as to what was needed. Unknown to each other, as they walked, they each made a quick inventory in their minds as to the words that Jess had preached to them. Mike knew it was of grave importance to Jess, though he was not quite sure how exactly, but Slim knew. It broke his heart to think that Jess had to be that kind of hero. That kind of hero, as to … the only one that’s left … when he lost his family. He knew a bit how it felt now too, as he almost lost Andy before his eyes. They came out into the light of day, with even more insight into Jess Harper.
“Well, Tiger…seeing as it’s cold out here, what’s say we get warm, with some nice good old fashioned work. We need to move these piles around to the side of the barn. Then some of the salvage can go to firewood, and the rest to be decided later.”
As they focused on their work, Daisy focused on serving a very late breakfast to Jess and Andy.
By now, Andy was propped uneasily at the table, and Jess had joined him. Jess stared at the table set for him and found it to look a bit odd. There was no silver ware, but there was a flapjack turner next to his plate. Jess sat down, and looked at Andy who was by now laughing.
“What’s SO FUNNY?”
“Why you are Jess!”
Andy continued, “You sure can’t eat with any silverware, so don’t you see…it’s Miss Daisy’s way of helping you out. She said she could feed you and all, but she didn’t think you’d take to the idea much.”
“And she figures I can use this all right then, huh?” Jess proceeded in trying to grab at it and pick it up, “well now Andy, you know…I always say a man can learn something new everyday…why you just don’t know what you can do until you set your mind to it.” Right about now though, Jess’ mind wasn’t setting to good to this new way of eating, and he was mighty hungry.
“Hey Jess,” Andy said, as he started to eat and as Jess started to watch. “You fell asleep last night and I never knew the aftermath of your laying on the prairie with a broken leg and all…it sure sounded like someone found you, as I heard you talking in your sleep. So please, Jess, finish it up for me, why I’ve been anxiously waiting since last night.
"Well, Andy…can’t I think on eating my food somehow first?”
“I bet you can think on it and talk at the same time Jess, I just bet you can do anything you set your mind on…ways I hear it …a man can learn something new everyday.”
As Andy laughed and chewed, Jess, feeling a mite sheepish, started in on his story instead of his late breakfast.
“As it goes, Andy…just as I lay there near dying …” Jess related his story that he had relived in his dreams last night as he had fell asleep. The pain seemed to seep all through him again now, as he talked of it, just as it had seemed so real to him last night lost in his drugged sleep. Jess’ hunger pains seemed all the more real too. He finished up with the part where he was carried in to the local Doc.
“Don’t know all of what happened to me for a few days, but the Doc filled me in about the man, Andy. He was taking a short cut to take some barrels of water to a small ranch on the other side of this tiny town he left me at. It was a ways past the out skirts of that town, on the edge of some more prairie. Took him a few more days, and by then I was sitting up and feeling a bit better. He returned and checked on me...and then went off for another side job somewheres, was to be back in a few weeks. As for me, why...as grateful as I was to this man for saving my life … it was obvious, and none to quickly, that I best be making tracks and fast. So I asked the Doc if I could mend some things while I was laying around, so’s I’d have money for the stage, and I took off soon as I could. A bit later, the proof of this was seen as I unexpectedly saw the man that saved me, once again in another town. Heard he was beating a woman for laughing at him. Made sure he didn’t see me, and made tracks … and none that he could follow, at least at that time.”
Jess looked sternly at Andy, “His name was Roney Bishop, Andy."
"Well what do you know, Jess, the same Roney Bishop that passed through here years back?"
"The very same, Andy."
"You never did tell me about what really happened in town, neither did Jonesy... all I heard from Jonesy was that you had to help Miss Essie with some unexpected trouble from Mr. Bishop, and you settled up with Mr. Bishop in a sad hard way." Andy said thoughtfully, "Must be you just didn’t want me to worry any more, as I was so happy when I heard that piano, and found you'd come home."
Andy was thinking as to the aftermath of Jess' rescue from the prairie, and the aftermath as to Jess' leaving their ranch to go off with Roney years back. "Jess … why is it that a man like that would be the one to rescue you, and that a man like that would be the cause of you “owing” him, even though he was a hurtful man? Why is that Jess, why wasn’t it a good man?"
"Andy, Roney had some good in him, or he'd have left me to die ... he just didn’t know where to look for it, or how to find it and keep it in him, I guess. Sometimes you can’t choose who you "are a owing" either Andy, so you just "owe 'em" the best you can."
Jess was tired of trying to scrape up food with Daisy’s flapjack turner, as he kept dropping it, and his food was getting cold. He tried a bit eating like a dog off the plate, and decided that wouldn’t do it either. Daisy kept coming into the room, and he never knew if she'd catch him, and it was a bit humiliating to say the least. Having a tiny bit of a new crop of chin hay starting to appear on the field of his face was sure to catch a few tell-tale traces of the plates best, as it was. In the back of his mind, trying to over take the thought of hunger that demanded priority, Jess sure wished he had shaved the day before the fire.
Jess leaned over to Andy, "Say, Andy, I got more story to swap, if you'll swap back with some of my breakfast getting into my belly, by you feeding me, and real soon. I’m expecting you to not tell, now, seeing as YOU OWE ME”, Jess said with a smirk.
"You know I wouldn’t say anything Jess, I might threaten to in fun and all, but I’m true through and through, now finish the story."
"Remember when I rode in here, and Bud Carlin showed up? Well, now, do you think Slim was very happy about having me here? At that time I just might have been the last man on earth he would have wanted to help rescue him when he followed out after them. I had been in my share of troubles, although not as Roney, but I was the one that showed up, ya see? And the aftermath of it led to me having a home here Andy. Well, if Roney Bishop hadn’t been looking all over for me, and hitching a ride with Miss Essie ... well now, he just might not have ever heard about Miss Essie's God. I kind of like to think that when the aftermath of our adventure in town that day "blew up" so to speak, that Roney finally gave up what ever was eating him, and found his eternal home in heaven. All because of him rescuing me as I lay near dying on the prairie ... as he was the one that showed up.” Somehow it hit Jess’ feelings a bit harder than he expected, and Jess vainly tried to wipe his face as he felt the moisture role from his eyes as Andy was scooping up some food for him.
"Why Jess Harper, are you crying?" Daisy’s voice played its usual surprised concerned tune as she came though the room to collect the dishes.
"No ma'am, I just got food all over my face, you see, this flapjack turner just keeps turning and all.” Jess flashed her his sweetest smile, “well, you know … these bandages don’t seem to take to it … the turning, that is, see? I can’t hang on to nothing Miss Daisy." Daisy didn’t seem to believe him and Jess was a bit lost and sinking fast and he knew it, he looked to Andy for help.
"Jess was trying to eat with his face Daisy, and him being a grown man and all, why sure he's crying, because it's a crying shame and that’s for sure!" Andy laughed the words out and in no time had Daisy and Jess laughing as well, But Jess and Andy knew between the two of them there are some things a man just don’t tell. Being fed like a baby was one, and crying like a baby was the another.
---CHAPTER FOUR---
---JESS…THE HERO… THE ONLY ONE THAT’S LEFT---
“Slim and Mike sure had a great day with the last of the cleaning up,” Andy mentioned to Jess, as Jess sat in the rocker again, “and Daisy had a great time with her bread…and me, well…I had a great time laying here on the sofa all day. With my ribs aching, why I can’t even go out and enjoy all my old memories, or make some new ones watching Slim and Mike work on the barn. The days come and gone, Jess. Such a waste.”
“Aw, bet you’ll feel a lot better tomorrow Andy, besides, think of all the good memories we had in here. You doing lots of the cooking and dishes and all.” Jess winced a bit and watched Andy’s face.
“Well, Jess, I prefer to remember more choice memories than that…like us playing cards, and talking around the fire.”
“Say Andy, I bet…maybe…if you let Slim move you real careful like to the outdoors…and then sit propped up, like I did once, you’ll forget about the ribs aching. Just remember not to move any,” Jess said, and then with a second thought he added “or sneeze…sneezing ain’t a good thing Andy. Then you’ll be just fine…until your legs start getting a bit numb from sitting still too long…then your gonna’ be in a real fix, cause you’ll want to move around something awful, you’ll forget, and there goes them ribs aching like there’s no tomorrow.”
“Jess, I do believe your making it a bit worse than it really is, your going to scare this young man.” Daisy had just come in from the kitchen, and brought Andy quite a lot of leftovers. Jess noted that Andy had enough for to eat for two, and sat up a bit, clearly interested.
Andy was getting hungry, as he had slept through supper. A supper, which Jess had avoided all together, and was now thinking it wasn’t such a smart move after all.
Daisy sat the tray of food on Andy’s lap with a kiss for his forehead. She strolled over to Jess, and brushed her hair back, and tidied it a bit, then said “I remembered at supper you were feeling a bit sick from the medication Jess, so I made sure I didn’t bring you any food to cross your wishes. You don’t have to look so concerned now Jess, don’t worry, this is just for Andy. Growing boys do eat quite a lot you know.” She gave him a light kiss on the forehead too and headed of to bed. Looking back at Andy she gave him a wink, and he gave her a smile, unbeknown to Jess. Slim and Mike were already asleep, and well fed.
“Jess…what did you think…” Andy chewed some…
“I was thinking earlier I just might not be eating for awhile…but I changed my mind, seeing everyone’s in bed, and my stomach has just about as big a mouth as I do when I feel like yapping…you want to help me out a bit Andy? Sure looks good.”
Jess didn’t like feeling helpless, and never gave in when he could help it. The only other times he needed to be fed was when he was shot up or hurt too bad to care, and nourishment meant getting well, and getting well was high on his agenda. But this walking around looking well, but being helpless was really starting to bother him a bit. But he had to save face the best he could with Mike and Andy around, and Slim was expecting him to tow the mark and set a good example. Well, how the heck can I do that if I’m starving here, Jess protested to himself.
“No, Jess…what did you think when you decided to run into the barn to save me. Were you afraid Jess? I mean, well, had you ever done anything like that before?”
Now Jess had been in a bit of a frisky mood, remembering their good old times. He was also ready to make some bargains again with Andy for some of Daisy’s good cooking, like he did this morning and then this came and caught him a bit off guard. He settled back in the rocker, and grew a bit solemn in continence.
He thought back to the feelings in the pit of his stomach while he was looking for Andy in the flames. He thought farther back, back through years gone by and remembered the anguish in the pit of his stomach when all he found was Francie…and it was too late to go back in… and he was the only one left standing. Johnny got out alone and lay in a heap under a tree feeling sick, sick from smoke, and sick from thinking of only himself. In bitter sorrow, he looked up at Jess, as he slowly stood, and took off fast. Jess never saw him again. Jess had tried to be the hero when he awoke in the fire, he wasn’t getting out alone if he could help it …but he could only be the hero once, and it was for Francie, as he found her first. He couldn’t even get back in to his home to those he loved. He watched as it fell down on them before his eyes, nothing was left but a burning pile of wood. Sometimes the hero has to be… the only one that’s left …Jess said to himself.
“Jess…did I say something wrong”…Andy stopped eating, he didn’t understand that there was something else much deeper going on in Jess’ mind. Memories did start to return to Andy though, as he watched Jess. Jess still had some hidden mystery to him, Andy had almost forgotten that, but now as he watched him, they easily came back. The wonderful easygoing nature that Andy loved so much was so easy to remember, as they were great buddies. When they did have a confrontation it was always because there was a piece missing…a piece Andy needed to help himself understand. Then when the piece came, the puzzle was set right, and Andy and Jess fit together as close as pups in a litter.
“Were you scared Jess, because you might not find me in time…?” Andy waited, he thought back to the burning barn and Jess reaching down for him. He remembered how desperate Jess’ face was then. “I’m sorry Jess, maybe I was wrong to ask you.” Andy looked at Jess. He couldn’t eat anymore, not with seeing Jess sitting there staring as if in another world. Andy wondered just where Jess was at the moment.
So many places…so much in his past…how did it connect to my question, Andy wondered, maybe Jess had been in a fire before, that’s why he was able to come after me, not even thinking of his own safety.
“Jess…I never even thanked you Jess…Andy started to tear up. Jess snapped out of it and looked into the fireplace. Tonight’s fire was roaring steady earlier, but had died down now.
“Andy … do you remember way back…I was riding in from being on a man’s trail…me and a marshal had finished up some business. I came back with my arm slung up from a bad wound, wasn’t in the best of shape, and sure looked travel-worn. Slim was ready to wound me a bit more, as he figured I’d been escaping chores just a bit much at the time. Slim settled down right nicely though when I near fell off my horse getting down, and he could see I could barely walk.” Jess smiled a bit, thinking on it. “Well, I sat with Slim that night…we had a long talk about something…something I only told a handful of people in my time. It’s time to tell you now, Andy.”
Jess and Andy sat in the low-lit stillness of the night, as others slept and dreamed. They shared something that at times was one of Jess’ fitful dreams. He had a few varieties of dreams, others that would come and go depending on trigger points that would appear in his life. Andy had now been one of those trigger points.
Jess now felt he owed him some puzzle pieces, and Andy listened and caught each one with his outstretched heart. When Jess was done telling Andy about his family, all Andy could do was sit and stare in silence at Jess for the longest time. Jess didn’t stir either, he just sat there and stared into the fading fire. This was the same Jess Harper that showed up and calmed the horse that day for Jonesy, Andy remembered, the same Jess that I’ve known all these years. But now there is so much more I am seeing, but yet he is still the same…new light is just revealing more patterns in his crystal that was always there, as it shines on new places … places that were hidden in the dark. Andy was so concerned and engrossed in Jess’ story that he almost forgot that he had his own bit of a little place of darkness that needed some light shining too, but this wasn’t the time.
“I’m sorry my question made you remember Jess. After all that, it’s hard to believe you’d ever want to face a fire again. I sure don’t know how you came to try to save me knowing you lived through it once and could be you might not be so lucky again.”
“Andy, for the longest time I wondered why I did…why I lived through it. I almost felt guilty, but then I knew if I hadn’t made it out, well then Francie wouldn’t have either.” Jess looked at his hands. They were hurting and his stomach was hollering, and his mind was continuing in cutting a river to other places as he pushed the present aside.
“I found myself in another fire Andy.” Jess stopped for a brief moment to clarify, “Oh, we had Indian attacks here, with fire, but we were kind of expecting it and took to the situation as best we could …and …” Jess stopped in a heavy mood as he thought on the burnt down homestead he had worked on with Will Tibbs, and how at that time he could see his own families ashes fresh in his mind all over again, mingled in the burning charred mess of what was left of what he thought was to be his home… “and” … he continued, “a sorry excuse of a partner that I once had for a short time, well, we got our homestead burnt down. The guilty party sure let us know they did it … but we weren’t there when it started, lucky for us. But I’m talking different kind of fires here Andy. These are killer fires, you don’t know what to expect.
Well, like I was saying, I found myself in another fire. It was after I came to be living here with you and Slim. I went to look for a friend of mine named Dan Preston. I got in a bit of a mess because of it, and found another man’s body. The man, he was killed in his home, and someone hit me hard in the head, and I went down…I woke up in smoke and flames. All I could think of Andy was ‘I got to get out of here…I got to get out of here’ over and over in my mind. It was like I had done it all before, Andy, and I had…only I didn’t remember at the time, as I was just desperate. And I got out Andy, sure don’t know how, but I did. It must have been meant to be. Some woman found me and moved me to the barn. It wasn’t until I was alone Andy, that’s when my thoughts went back to my home and the fire. It wasn’t until I was alone. And I sure did some wondering on it all too. I made it out again, I was alive.”
Jess got up and tried to walk off his pain, he had two kinds he was dealing with at the moment, and wasn’t sure which was worse. It was getting a bit cold, Andy was bundled up on the bed, but the fire was fading a bit more. He was ready for the pain killing medicine, but his thoughts were making time, and fast going around a new
Bend, Jess picked up and followed.
“Another thing came to mind that helped a bit…there was a time Slim and I woke to the barn burning here...you were already gone then…Jonesy too. This time it wasn’t lightening. Some men burned it to scare Slim off from testifying about his relative killing an Indian, a good friend of Slim’s that worked for us. I helped Slim fight off that fire, Ben too, sure didn’t seem to bother me none, didn’t even think, just fought it. Like me and fire had never met…so I figured maybe I survived before because it was so’s I’d have no fear…maybe I’d be just crazy enough to use it for good and help someone from it all…I just didn’t rightly know. But it haunted me in the night, again as before, as to my family.
There was another time too Andy, sure never expected it none, was about to expect getting killed, but not with a fire. It was right after Mike had been shot. I took off after the man, didn’t even know who he was, just heard tell of him. Followed him to a town. Nearly had another fractured skull from a blow to the back of my head, near to killed me, they did. I was lucky to be alive, but I didn’t know it. I was soon saved as a man cut me off my horse, where I had been tied, hung over it. Horse was set a running, with me tied on, hardly recollect it as I was out like there was no tomorrow, lucky that new friend knew to be looking for me, and he saved me.”
Jess continued, “Well he was trying to fix me up, and the man fixing to kill me came upon where we were hiding at, at this home style shack. He had already knocked my new friend down and out. He tied me as I lay on my belly on the floor, then he set that small shack on fire. Sure wasn’t ready for that none, expected a bullet in the back maybe, but there I was in another fire. Didn’t look to good either Andy, as I couldn’t get free. I was able to rouse my new friend and he got us both out…all the while my head kept a hollering at me ‘I got to get out of here…I got to get out of here’…that’s all I heard, as I yelled to rouse my friend. Afterwards, had no time to think on anything but to just get that man that done it all. Well, later in the night when I was alone… it was then I thought on it …my family…me and the fire that night…me and the other fire looking for Dan…now this fire. ‘Harper’, I said then ‘your learning something here, it’d sure be good to pay attention.’”
Jess finished walking around the room and looked at Andy…he hadn’t eaten any more of his food…or taken his medicine either. He sat over there as if perched on the end of a cliff looking way off at a new and unexplored land, Jess Harper’s wilderness.
“Andy, there was a few more fires, there was the fire out at Lars’ place, coming from the hills. He lost the place, but gained a wife. Another mess I was in with a man named Darby ended in a fire as well, and another one, one of the last of them fires, was with me helping some ranchers save their barn. Slim was helping too, as we were going to be riding with them a bit until we ran into some trouble. Those I handled same way, with more thoughts in the night, when I was alone.
But the one from the mess I was in with Darby,” Jess continued “…that was a bit different. I was ready to follow the instincts in my head, the one that followed me since after that night I saved Francie. ‘I got to get out of here…I got to get out of here’ and I was already to follow it, until I heard the man that got me into the mess in the first place…Darby. He was calling to me to save him, Andy. My instinct was then gone just as soon as it came to my aid…all I could think of was to go get him, and get him out. He nearly got me hung for killing a deputy, but I couldn’t let him die in that fire. Just before that fire started, I was facing a man ready to gun me down as I was unarmed, situation changed fast, and the place was on fire. I came to realize again, I might not have made it out, but I did, along with Darby.”
Jess sat on Andy’s bed and looked him in the eyes. “You see Andy it was more than co-incidence. It was just meant to be. So I shouldn’t have been eating my insides out as to me being alive, and my family not. I would have had even more of myself to put into finding Banister then. But there was a reason I made it out, Andy, it was just meant to be. Francie is off there in California now, making babies so Harper blood under her new husband’s name will continue. I got into the war looking for Johnny, he lost it in the war BUT I didn’t. I made it Andy, through all my drifts and gunfights and the lot.
I made it in that first fire and if I was wrong and should have gone back in, to try for the rest of my family and die doing it, only Francie would be left. There would be no men folk, Andy. Must be something in me worth saving that I seem to have over looked. Then too, if I was guilty for not trying to save more of my family, I would have gone down in those other fires…you don’t escape judgment for an evil done Andy.
Sure, I could have died saving you, but that was a choice I made, as in saving the barns and Lars’ home, or trying to anyways. But being hit on the head and left to burn, or tied and left to burn, I sure learned I made it because I was supposed to. I ain’t to be holding myself guilty anymore Andy, from that one night … as …I was supposed to be … the hero that night … and sometimes the hero is …the only one that’s left.”
Andy reached over and gave Jess a hug. As he did so, his hug nudged loose the carefully lodged stone that Jess Harper had guarded well. The one that had held together the dam of walled up feeling for so many years…Jess wept with a deep heavy sorrow …he buried his head, and cried with deep heavy heaves ‘til he couldn’t cry anymore. He had never cried over his family, though he started to many times, but pulled it back in as quickly as it had started. He had anger, vengeance, and retribution to deal with first. He had Banister to settle a score with, the hurt would have to wait. That was now finished, as of Fort Defiance. It broke Andy’s heart as he watched Jess break down, and he cried as well. They sat there in the dark as the fire had died down … ashes were long since gone when they finally felt like talking. Ashes were long since gone … as to the fire that took Jess’ family. Ashes were long since gone … as to the many roaring fires that got Jess Harper to thinking of that one tragic fire that changed his life forever.
“Andy, I sure am glad Slim and I made it back in time and that you’re still here…I sure am glad I saved you from that fire…I sure am glad to be here Andy, I sure am glad.” The dawn of joy was breaking over Jess’ face as he spoke and he felt it. His body was beginning to relax now as well.
“Jess, sure don’t know how you managed to drift with all this heavy stuff weighing you down and all, but you sure came to the right place when you showed up here and nearly shot my pie to heaven above and dirt below,” Andy said with a smile.
“Guess I was feeling a bit too weary to face much more of the drift Andy…sure learned a lot the hard way…sure got to see it fixed up a lot too. Just needed a place with good soil for me to take root a bit, and get some healthy branches on me…so’s I won’t be withering like the tumbleweeds when the hard dry times pass on through.”
Jess continued, “Had my share of gun hard days too Andy…now my gun’s seen its best days with the law backing it up…Francie was real proud of me, she said so…and I know my folks would have been too.” Jess composed himself, and pulled his reins in…and was ready for a new path to head out on as he said “speaking of folks, why neither one of us is getting much sleep here. And them ashes are long since gone,” he said as he looked into the fireplace, that earlier in the evening, had been a roaring hot fire.
Playing as hard as he could to be in full Harper style but sick with pain, Jess presented some helpful facts with a bit of seasoning. “That medicine is waiting there on that table to keep me from banging my head on the wall as to the way my hands are feeling right about now, if my stomach don’t wrestle me down first. So how about you helping me to a heavy dose of it and feeding me some Andy, and lets get some sleep…before some other folks wonder tomorrow just why it is that we’ve been pounding the pillow until noon, or worse yet come sundown tomorrow!”
“Sure thing Jess, I figure that’s something we can handle right well.”
As they finished their eating and doctoring, Jess was sleeping on the floor again, with his hands propped up. Andy was sure Jess wasn’t out on a Kansas prairie this time…he hoped he was right where he ought to be…on the Sherman Ranch’s front room floor, by his side.
Andy’s thoughts now took a short travel of his own, he remembered Slim told him how he had been saved from a fire, by Ed Calder. Slim had been away and did not see how or why it happened, but Jonesy did see and told all. It was another example of how the most unlikely people can be there to save you. Andy sure didn’t remember it none, only how he tripped. He was sure glad of not having the awful memories…but this fire he did remember all right. This is the fire that taught me about Jess…this is the one that helped me learn how it felt to walk in Jess’ boots, well, a few steps only…but that was all it took, he thought. Now he would go back east to the city, with the bond between him and Jess even stronger than before.